Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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10:39 am
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OOOOOOOH This turned out to be one of the best weekends ever!
So to start from the beginning I didn't go out friday and Saturday so that was crap and was really bugged. Then came Sunday and besides letting off some steam over here on Lj I was speaking to Marco online and we decided to meet up to discuss the whole breaking up thingy! We spoke for quite a while after which we decided to get back together! Soooooo Audrey is very happy.
Just before I met Marco and we talked everything through in detail I met my aunt who said that she could help me with the results of my thesis which was stressing me out BIG TIME! So that is two loads off my chest.
Next thing that happened was yesterday (strictly speaking not the weekend.....but close enough i guess!) anyways....I went to my lecture first thing in the morning at university and on my way back tot he car to attend a second lecture in hospital I came cross these guys with a cage ull off abandoned puppies! There were about 15 or so really cute ones and after contemplating my parents' reaction if I had to get a puppy home (which I knew that they absolutely were against) I took one home..f**k the lecture and everything else. I washed her and fed her took her to the vet and found out she is 6 weeks old and a pointer. She is the cutest thing alive and is so playful and lovable.
I'll try and get a pic of her on here but i doubt whether i would manage anyways am exhausted now will tell you more about her in my next post!
current mood:  content
current music: Cats in a cradle
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Sunday, March 21st, 2004
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1:14 pm - regaining control
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UUUUUU madddonnnfii How boring it is at home! I am starting to hate that bloody television i feel like suck a vegetable sitting in front of it. I mean at least with a computer you are interacting a bit ,especially on the internet but My gosh a TV just cooks your brain and drains your energy.
I have officiallydidd that my couch potato days are over. I can't spend hours sitting down studying and then go for a break and sit down in front of a box instead. Walks, socializing, coffees with friends and family will be my breaks from now on. Easier said than done but it is sure worth a try.
Also have to stick to gong out at least once in a weekendI've become a nanna always at home worrying about what to study next and how I'm going to carry out the next step in my thesis! that's it I've had it I've been mentally burnt out for a few good weeks and that's it Physiotherapy is not the most important thing in my life.
Now it's just a matter of integrating all this into my everyday activities and into my brain!...........If i find it!
current mood:  anxious
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Saturday, March 20th, 2004
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11:46 pm
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today wasn't so bad studied a really really little bit....bestest friend came to see me and am getting somewhere with the results of my thesis! Didn't go out though which is a bit of a pity coz the weather was really nice today....from what i could see! Thank God tomorrow will be going to eat out or something because it's my grandfather's birthday on Monday so at least I get to get out of the house for a couple of hours to relax and socialize a bit!
i only hope that I will be well tomorrow because my stomach has been cramping up again today and I hope that it will not turn out to be gastritis like last time! 4 days hardly eating anything was no joke! especially for me being such a pig hehe! oh well FOOD IS GOOOOOOOOD!
Going out will also help me take my mind off Marco. I am finding myself going online on MSN just to check whether he is online or not and if he is waiting for him to speak to me so that I won't bug him. I don't wait wait I do something in the meantime ...like study (but with my eye on the computer)
This evenign strange incident happened! my mobile rings and it's Becky saying she's outside my door i go and open for her only to find her in a state of panic. There was this drunken guy following her from her car to my house. The best part of it is that when she came into the house this bugger first pretended to keep walking up the road but then stopped turned and kept staring directly at us who were in the doorway watching his every move, with our fight or fligth systems geared on the flight option! this guy then walked down the road again in a not so straight manner and stopped right behind this van so that he would be out of sight. He then left after a good 10 mins allowing becky to go and meet her friend ( a date although she won't admit it!-and she'll kill me if she reads this too!).
Spooky situation but pity he scrammed just as i was calling the cops was feeling very detectivey!*snigger*
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Friday, March 19th, 2004
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10:42 am
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Ok so today is just another day closer to those exams. Sometimes I wonder if i'll ever pass and if all this studying work and stress is all for nothing. If you had to get a stress meter to test my stress levels they'll probably be constantly rising!
To make matters worse i broke up with Marco and last week and have been feeling miserable ever since! I honestly thought that breaking up was what I wanted and that my feelings for him had changed completely (and pretty much overnight too). The thing is that i didn't expect it to affect me so much or to feel so horrible afterwards, i was so sure at the time, that it had to be the right thing to do and i still think that I did the right thing somehow,even though I miss him a real lot, but it's still confusing. At least he seems pretty alright he's going out and having fun with his friends and that's the most important thing. He's still talking to me and we're still friends, however things definitely aren't the same! But obviously I expected this and i hope that things will get better....imma issa naraw kemm!
I got some extra cash coming in this week as this student wanted English private lessons before he goes back to Germany. It was a relief actually because the guy was and is really nice and we had a good laugh in the lesson so I had a chance to relax a bit and get my mind off of physiotherapy and what's been going on with Marco. This week was also the last week of helping that brat with her homework. My gosh what a waste of time that was, she wouldn't try one little bit, I mean for god sakes who gets a 7/100 in maths after months of studying the same few chapters. Anyways she's out of my hands now, if she wants to dig her own grave she can do it alone now!
Today am gonna pamper myself and this time NOT with food, been doing that too often lately and the scales are a proof of that! Am gonn amake myself look like a decent person at least and make myself look like Audrey again, because my relationship with the mirror is deteriorating at an accelerated rate. My encounters with it have turned into frightening experiences which have become unbearable. So today I choose to change that. and I think I'll get started with that right now!
Toodles all!
current mood:  drained
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Sunday, March 7th, 2004
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11:27 am - YELLOW
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Ok So I can imagine comment like "wow, FINALLY an update" and stuff like that. I KNOW that I rarely do and most of you know why coz the few times that i do update it's to grumble about all the work finaly year of uni brought along with it!
Today I will spare you all 1) because I am in a good mood, and 2) hoping that you will spare me with all the sarcastic "look who updated comments" *smiles sweetly*
Anyways Lately things have been stressful but I'm managing, the worst part is that I had gastritis all last week and had to stay home 1) because i was too sick to go out and 2) because I'd have probably been a biological hazard if any wind escaped! *sigh*
But thank God I have such supportive people around me who to cheer me up called me names such as Ms Pukeycrap and a potential evacuation tool and not to mention my swollen tummy being referred to as a pregnant one! Well anyways nice to be able to be of help in cheering people up!
Have started working in M8 in hospital and all of a sudden my whole life is looking goooooooooddddd! That place is so crappy that it makes you thankful for every little detail, starting from first and foremost fresh air as opposed to evaporated human waste, second is space to move as opposed to a bed or person whithin half a step away from you at all times and third is peace and quiet as opposed to crazy people screaming at the top of their lungs because of something as simple as a fan being turned on.
Well anyways will stop writing here as I have studying to do have a nice week everyone and hope to rememeber to come and update more often! tata!
current mood:  awake
current music: none! Boring I know
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Saturday, January 10th, 2004
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12:21 pm
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It feels rediculous calling this a journal as i so rarely update it that there is no way in hell that one could follow what is going on in my life!
Anyways since I do not have the time to update about every aspect fo my life will do so on the most importantest ones...........
Importantest update no. 1...MARCO *SMILE/MELT*
I am in Luuuuurrve with the sweetest guy on the face of this earth! I wish that I could tell you all the brilliant things about him, but the internet would run out of space memory or whatever you want to call it! Instead I will just mention a few points like he is kind-hearted, caring, responsible, down-to-earth, really cute, huggable etc..etc.. Everything is obviously going brilliantly and God willing will continue to do so...but at this point it is hard to see how things could ever go wrong!
Ok so after going into that all the other points are so irrelevant that i will stop here and try to tune in to my studies now. Ugh what an anti climax!
anyways have a good weekend everyone and oh yes HAPPY NEW YEAR since i didn't tell anyone here yet!
current mood:  loved
current music: none...how boring ay!
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Monday, November 24th, 2003
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7:38 pm
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For those of you who read my previous post....things did get worse and today my tutor as one of her hilarious jokes decided to call me a sturduta in front of my patient and spent the whole treatment session making sure that i looked as though I didn't knwo what the helll I was doing. It passed though and even though I burst into tears when she wasn't looking it was thanks to Sarah that i felt better as she really listened to me and calmed me down. What helped also is that the coordinator of my course on listening to what she had done commented on my tutor saying "[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<b<font>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] For those of you who read my previous post....things did get worse and today my tutor as one of her hilarious jokes decided to call me a sturduta in front of my patient and spent the whole treatment session making sure that i looked as though I didn't knwo what the helll I was doing. It passed though and even though I burst into tears when she wasn't looking it was thanks to Sarah that i felt better as she really listened to me and calmed me down. What helped also is that the coordinator of my course on listening to what she had done commented on my tutor saying "<b<font size="+1">>well, she's not exactly a bright-spark herself is she</font></b>!" Oh Gosh if only you could understand how good that felt. He also suggested that i should change tutor but I don't think that i will because honestly she does have her good days too.
Anyways on a positive note I finally got consent from the top woman in the pjhysio department to go ahead with my thesis and get my patients fromt he department. She treated me like a total baby and my Gosh do these people like having their ass kissed! I thought that these people existed only in the movies but BOOooOOY was i wrong! Anyways i got the damned signature and so all is well finally and hassles all over. Got home and also got a job for the next 4 weeks teaching a student who is staying here for the next 6 months, the cousin of this guy staying at my house (as a student obviously). Anyways he wants 10 hours a week which are going to kill me but that means less TV time which means less eating for nothing. Plus I do get 25 a week just from him. That should help me through the christmas season.
Anyways things are finally going well and now I am just getting some more work done before more comes along. Yesterday went to Mass and it was really beautiful, I always forget how nice the 7 o'clock mass at Nazzarenu is! Will keep going there, maybe even get becky to start going with me. She is feeling a bit lonely lately or rather very lonely and i am not being there for her and i really need to. Will meet her this week for sure! IF YOU READ THIS PUPA I LOVE YOU AND DID NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU WILL NEVER DO THAT IT'S THE SITUATION THAT SUCKS BUT IT WILL CHANGE OR RATHER WE'LL CHANGE IT SO THAT WE CAN MEET UP MORE OFTEN AND BE AROUND MORE! |
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7:19 pm - Yesterday's entry when the net wasn't working!
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At the moment i am finding it so damned hard to keep my eyes open and to type this at the same time *What a TaSk!!!* I've been so damned busy this past week I am finding it hard to believe that i am managign to cope somehow. I've been having the hassles that must be being sent directly from hell with my tutor of my thesis as she is sooo damned moody and so irritated by my being alive. Why the F**k did she agree to help me out with my thesis is she is too busy to help me and too uninterested in helping me out. All she wants are the results of the study so that she can use it for her damned study. Other than that things don't get corrected and I get shouted at and told of for her mistakes and her laziness and lack of the ability to understand plain English sentences. You see for some reason the communication between us is miserable, I tell her something and she understands something completely different and NO it is not mewho can't explain myself! Anyways it is not only her but everyone who has to do with my thesis that is blaming me for not being informed about what i am supposed to do and not do and apparently my supervisor is supposed to let me know but God forbid anyone blames her, nooooooooooo or anyone else, just blame the student, that's much easier!
Ok that aside....been going otu a bit more often and I am enjoyig myself however all of a sudden once I started going out more often all of a sudden eevryone is annoyed or offended that i am not spending time with them. I think that the world has decided to work the opposite way when it comes to situations havign to do with me. Some sort of experiment that it has going on, and I am it's subject damn it!!! This is the reason for my theory......I start going out more and I get more complaints about not going out, i start working more and getting more things done and i have more work to do than i did when I started working really hard, I help my mother more and i get comments that i never help her, while my sister sleeps off the weekends and is out partying and running around the rest fo the time. Then to top it all off I realize that i am being much more active and eating less because I don't have as much time to eat and I am putting on weight! that was really the icing on the cake, but somehow no matter how bad that all sounds and trust me it truly is frustrating, I am not so eaten up insode about it all, i am handling it (which for the people who don't know me is not liek me at all)
I found that prayer helps me a lot and it calms me down and helps me find ways to deal with the things that i encounter in my everyday life. I think that all this stuff that is happening to me at this point are all tests from God to see how much faith I have and to see whether i will turn away from him in times when I am faced with the true scum of life. We'll see what will happen but for now I think that I am passing! YAY! lol I must sound liek a total looney but oh well!!! My journal my thoughts!
Well after along rant about all the things going wrong here's the last one, well two, My back has been killing me recently and it just won't let off and my finger is still looking very deformed after I sprained it or whatever it was that happened to it when I hit it a couple of weeks ago and it is still painful, which is why i have to stop typing now and get to bed to rest my back!
Have a nice week everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sunday, November 16th, 2003
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3:18 pm
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Friday, November 14th, 2003
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12:10 pm - HEHEHEHEHE!
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Ok since many people got rather confused by my last entry and were wondering what the hell I was on about and why i was acting so wierd I have decided to update and set things straight and prove to everyone that I am not mentally fucked up as I come across most of the time.
Last time I weent ot a prayer group and I was really touched or impressed or whatever you want to call it. Basically there were people fainting because they were so deep in prayer and because they were touched by the Holy Spirit. The thing is tht most of you who may be reading this are probably saying yeah yeah whatever!!!!! bUt I am kindly asking you not to judge because you really had to be there to see for yourself to be able to comment about it. Anyways I attended this community twice so far and every time I walked out of there feeling so good and really a sense of happiness which for those of you who don't know me is very rarely for me to feel in the true sense.
I've already made quite a few friends and the people there are so sweet and friendly and I feel very comfortable with them. anyways this week sucked quite a biot but now the weekend is here again and tonight i am actually going to go out all dressed up cos i have this kind of birthday party thingy. will be going out after prayer group so I should be feeling pretty good by the time I get to go out.
Have a brilliant weekend everyone! and take care!
Audrey!
current mood: anxious
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Saturday, November 8th, 2003
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5:46 pm - Renewed!
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hey everyone!
I am updating today for a reason. I went yesterday to a prayer group for the first time. I was a bit sceptical of the whole thing and I didn't know what to expect, all that i knew was that i wanted to somehw pick my life up from what I considered to be rock bottom, where I have been for way too long. It turned out to be a healing service and I was absolutely stunned byt he devotion of these people to God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. the miracles happening before my ees I couldn't understand or couldn't esplain, because they were miracles, and that is like the point of a miracle. Anyways I ended up singing and getting into the whole vibe of the place and I was so touched. I am sill not thinking straigh, like something that I can't believe. I in fact am going to stop here half way through this story and write when I am feeling a bit mor in my senses. Sorry to keep you hanging!but if it's going to come out it has to come out right.
have a nice day!
current mood: touched
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Sunday, October 26th, 2003
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4:09 pm
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Heeey
well just to surprise a few people I am updating two day in a row hehe! well not much to update really because I haven't been out all weekend (BORING!) thanks to my work and my mind for worrying overtime about my school work and therefore not enjoying it at all when I go out because I know that i have loads to get back to at home. UGH! anyways
Today at least Kle came over and even though the topics of our conversations were somewhat outside the norm I still enjoyed every minute of that time. Can't wait for tuesday afternoon to come when all this work will be over with.
Anyways will cut this rant short coz I have someone to phone and pick on!
tata!
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Saturday, October 25th, 2003
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8:40 am - Hey everyone!
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Ok so I didn't exactly keep to what I said and didn't post one entry every week. But I am posting now so hopefully I will be forgiven (WENGYI am I??) hehe. Well actuall ynot that much has been happening because as usual I am extremely busy and between my thesis, this damned presentation for next week and my social life I don't get much of a chance. I'm not even getting a chance to study yet.
ANyways besides my nagging I'll tell you about the more pleasant things that have happened since I last wrote. I got to go on a physio night out which was a real blast although a couple of people got a bit pissed off at others and some people were actually acting a little bit stranger than usual. I also got to meet my friend Marco who always puts me in a good mood, but unfortunately we never get the chance to meet up.
Anyways to keep myself entertained while at home writing assignments and stuff I have been downloading songs from morphues, which is soooo bloody slow, but at least it keeps me entertained. I know SAD but anyways
have a good week all!
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Sunday, October 12th, 2003
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7:45 am - my first once a week entry!(wink wink-Kle!)
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Since it has been pointed out to me that I have disappeared off the face of the earth for most people, I decided that it will be a good idea to post every so often especially sionce if i don't I won't hear the end of it from Kle as she keeps reminding me and suggesting that I do so.
Anyways what's been going on in my life recently? Well....I just finished work last friday in hospital and that went well for the whole six weeks and most importantly I got along brilliantly with my supervisors but I am still awaiting my results from the placement, as we get graded for our performance. Anyways besides that I am working on my thesis however I am still very backwards and the more I work at it the more backwards i feel as I am always coming across other things that need to be done that i hadn't thought about.
Change of subject coz I don't even want to think about what I have to spend all bloody day doing. I cut me hair on Friday and me likes it very many much
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Monday, September 22nd, 2003
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12:29 pm
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Oh gosh it's been soooo long i don't even know where to start from not that anything much has happened. I mean been going out a bit more than I usually would when I am supposed to be concentrating on my thesis. Oh well can't do too much about that with everyone coming up with birthdays and good parties on every so often. These are not things that I can miss now can I!? *said with a convincing look*
The guys around have been a bit more interesting than usual but they are all just coming and going with nothing much going on coz as soon as anyone tries to get close to me my stomach cringes and I just get scared off and run like a wind with the force of a bloody tornado. But never mind that at least i am having fun with my friends and am pleased with my social life. I am talking waaay too much though recently, but I guess it's the price I pay for remaining quiet for soooo long, or at least the price that the people around em have to pay hehe!
ANyways yesterday was Bekky's birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEKKY and today is Jean's birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEAN.
ok now have to go and work on my thesis so have a good day everyone reading and feel free to leave a comment so that I will have something to look forward to reading during my breaks.
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
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6:41 pm
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I don't know what the hell's been wrong with me recently! I've been having the wierdest couple of weeks... Everyone in my dreams is trying to kill me and everyone else is dying in them including animals and babies etc..etc.. Obviously with dreams liek these I am not sleeping at all and it is startign to really get to me. I am always tired at every moment of the bloody day and I am getting soo bloody emotional.
To makle things ten times worse I start work in hospital next week where I will be working in the ITU and other critical care units. So summer goes bye bye in a couple of days qanna!
At least work at school and teachign wise is going great and I am very happy there and the money that I make there is nothign i can grumble about either!!! considering that when i start working in hospital I will be earnign liek 80 cents an hour or soemthing liek that which is pretty damned miserable. IGRI I get out of Malta and get my own life somewhere else where the stresses of a claustrophobic country can't get to me any more!
Gosh justr re-read that and it sounds pretty damned dramatic but oh well, it came from the heart so I am leaving it there!
Ok am going to stop my rant here and leave you all in peace. Have a nice one all ~!
current mood:  aggravated
current music: just reminded me to put it on!
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Wednesday, August 20th, 2003
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12:05 am
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Oh gosh I am dead tired and about to drop off to sleep at any moment. My working hours have been longer these past few days and they have drained me of all my energy. I also need to find information for my thesis that is taking waaay too long damn it!
other than the grumbling I had a brilliant weekend where I went twice to the beach and absorbed some colour and i went horse-riding too and felt like I got my ass kicked for a couple of days after that making sitting down a much harder task than one might think!!!
I still haven't gotten those pics uploaded on the net yet and don't know when I will get the chance to but all I know is that i have more important things on my mind right now.
My students left last Sunday (well two of them anyway, and I am really missing them now because they were such great company and fantastic people. I enjoyed every minute with them. Roberta one Italian student cried when she said goodbye and so did I but as soon as i was in the privacy of my own room and the next day i find a package from her on my doorstep. There was a note attatched to thank me for teaching her English in such a meaningful way and telling em that sh found such a good friend in me. I was sooo touched and sure enough once again.....I cried!!! I just can't seem to control my tears any more... oh well!
Ok I am off to get some more work done before I get to sleep. I think that tomorrow I will collaps half way through the day, am tin so tired, I need to relax.
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Sunday, August 17th, 2003
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9:50 am - Horse Riding!
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Ok so yesterday i had one of the best times. I went horse riding with Olena and Roberta. It was their first time and they seemed quite scared but willing to go ahead and try it out anyway. The look on their faces as they were helped up onto the horse was priceless. Their horses were held on leads but me being such a hero decided that i didn't want my horse to be on a lead. I managed to control the horse very well, and i was very proud of myself, but this damned horse had his mind set on one thing and that was going for a run. So I had to keep the reighns quite tight. First I was going quite slow and stopping him from trotting on at his own will, but after a while I gained confidence and enjoyed the trotting. However, my ass didn't and it is bruised and sitting down is now no longer an easy and painless task.
We then went to Hal Ferh for a drink or rather 3 drinks because we all were so thirsty we just couldn't satisfy the thirst. We were all a bit reluctant to go because we knew that we'd have to say bye when we arrived home. After a while we left and as we approached the hotel we all felt a bit sad to say bye and as they got out of the car olena just turned around and proposed that we go to dinner together. We all burst out laughing because even the way she said it seemed as though it was said out of panick and the reluctance to say the word goodbye. In the end we went for a pizza and had a good laugh. That was followed by a walk and they were sweet enough to walk me home. As we got to the bottom of my street, we all went quiet, we hugged said the dreaded B word and hugged and tears were present. I saved mine till i got home and i really felt like some really good friends were leavign and I didn't know whether i will ever see them again. I HATE this feeling!! But I will be ok after a while sulking.
I recieved an email from Elvira my other student and now friend who si now already back in Italy and I was very pleased to hear from her, and i hope that we will all keep contact.
About the pics when i get that site to upload my pics i will post them here so bear with me!
current mood: moody
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Saturday, August 16th, 2003
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8:35 am
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Ok so thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) wingflutter I now have some new icons. YEAH!
This last week I've had a brilliant time with my students and I am really going to miss them when they go back to their home countries. *sniffle* Yesterday 2 Italian girls left but today i will spend my last hours horse-riding with Olena and Roberta, who I have had the pleasure of teaching for the last 3 weeks. If I manage I will post a pic of the whole group, which was taken yesterday morning when we went to Fontanella for breakfast. We really laughed while we were there and even ended up dancing salsa at 10 in the morning lol. We then sang on the way home in the car and tears were shed when the time came to say goodbye to the 2 Italian girls. Elvira and Armanda, if you read this, WE'LL MISS YOU!
Ok so yesterday I also went to the beach with Roberta and I must admit we got pretty red and I came home looking liek a lobster, but I enjoyed eevry minute of it. Hehe i also gave Roberta a massage and she nearly fell asleep...I'm GOOOOOOOOD lol!
Ok so i am now going to try to post that pic that I took yesterday. Wish me luck!
These are ME, Armanda, Elvira, Olena and Roberta, after eating fontanella cake, which accounts for the smiles on our faces!
current mood:  excited
current music: coldplay cd
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Saturday, August 9th, 2003
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12:03 am - My first pic on LJ!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ok so just to prove that I can and will finally put up a pic on my journal I am going to put up my first pic tay and the honours go to Kle who probably could've sworn that 99% i would not put up this pic here! so here goes pupa!
Kle craping off the last crumbs fo cake from the plate at Ben and Jerry's mmmmmmmmmm!
Now if this turns out well I will be posting more pics on this journal so that things will eb a bit more interesting to those of you who actually bother reading my journal !
mwaaaaaaaaaaaa!
everythign going well by the way at the moment just workign most of the time and trying to get some studies in but not really managing and am feelign guilty but oh well, it;s my thesis that is worrying me the most!
ok now am goign to update coz am curious as to if the pic comes out or not!
current mood:  optimistic
current music: Alanis Morisette
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